can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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