I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
