I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
