escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood