you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.