I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
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Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
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He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?