do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
