she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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