is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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