There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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