if i can run in heels then i can drive
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
