this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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