fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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