can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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