I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
