I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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