i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
