I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
