i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
