Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
