Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
