The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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