I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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