We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
