There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
