it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
