Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My ass is underappreciated
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
