I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
