Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
