we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
