Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
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Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
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And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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