i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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