My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
