I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
