I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
