And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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