I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
