You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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