He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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