it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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