this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
