I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
