Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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