And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
