Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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