that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
