I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
