I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Ladies don't puke and tell
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
