found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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