ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
