Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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