My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
