she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
