y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize