i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
