anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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