dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
