so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
