chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
