miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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