Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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