According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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