I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
either way he was missing a nipple.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Randomize
