Porn is love you can see.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
