i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
